so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
