I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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