I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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