Where is the hickey?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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