I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
