You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
