She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
