I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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