I like to think it a success when the cops are called
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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