I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
