I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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