If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize