I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
