Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
