First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
