what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
