Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Randomize