so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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