After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
