He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
