They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
