Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
