just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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