hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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