you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
