I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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