he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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