i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
