Do vagina's smell?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
