im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
