I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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