I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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