it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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