Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
