check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
