It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize