i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
