I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
