maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
