he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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