They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
