i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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