If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
