Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
