White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
