This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
