I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
