ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
