1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The adults are the big ones right?
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