fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
