Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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