How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
