are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
