I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
