its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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