It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
