Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
