i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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