You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
