Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize