My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
